Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
During World War II, four British children are sent out to the country to spend the war under care of a reclusive relative. The children discover a gateway through a wardrobe into another world called Narnia. There, in a world of centaurs, griffens, and talking animals, the children appear to be the fulfillment of a prophecy that four humans will one day lead an army with the help of Aslan, a lion, to defeat the self-appointed queen of Narnia, a witch.
Based of the classic book by C.S.Lewis, Narnia is not a bad movie, but as I was watching it I kept thinking to myself Lord of the Rings did this better. Indeed, The Lord of the Rings has set a very high standard when it comes to fantasy films, and perhaps comparing anything to the wondrous magic of LotR is unfair.
There's nothing inherently bad in Narnia. The production is uniformly excellent, and the special effects are marvelous. The intergration of CGI characters into live-action elements is perfectly done.
But for me the film never grabbed me.
There's also been some talk about the "Christian" aspects of Narnia. Aslan's death and resurrection parallel Christ's, and I believe that C.S. Lewis was deliberately evoking Christianity in his story. That said, I didn't find that this aspect overwhelmed the story. Clearly, it's there if you want to read that into it, but death and resurrection are so much a part of fantasy and science fiction films (Gandalf and Obi-Wan Kenobi for starters), never mind other myths and religions, that it does not overpower the movie.
Look, this isn't a bad movie. Pay your money, you'll like it. Will you care about it the next day? That's another question.
Based of the classic book by C.S.Lewis, Narnia is not a bad movie, but as I was watching it I kept thinking to myself Lord of the Rings did this better. Indeed, The Lord of the Rings has set a very high standard when it comes to fantasy films, and perhaps comparing anything to the wondrous magic of LotR is unfair.
There's nothing inherently bad in Narnia. The production is uniformly excellent, and the special effects are marvelous. The intergration of CGI characters into live-action elements is perfectly done.
But for me the film never grabbed me.
There's also been some talk about the "Christian" aspects of Narnia. Aslan's death and resurrection parallel Christ's, and I believe that C.S. Lewis was deliberately evoking Christianity in his story. That said, I didn't find that this aspect overwhelmed the story. Clearly, it's there if you want to read that into it, but death and resurrection are so much a part of fantasy and science fiction films (Gandalf and Obi-Wan Kenobi for starters), never mind other myths and religions, that it does not overpower the movie.
Look, this isn't a bad movie. Pay your money, you'll like it. Will you care about it the next day? That's another question.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Surviving the Boxing Day Sale Madness
Surviving the Boxing Day Sale Madness is really very easy.
1. Lock your door.
2. Don't go out.
But seriously folks, I did venture out into the madness. I did find that if you get to the malls around opening time, (8:30 in the case of Mayfair Mall), you do get about an hour or so before the crowds seriously start frothing and foaming at the mouth, and it's not too bad. But you need to know what you want and where you're going. A quick surgical strike.
I hit Eddie Bauer and hit the big time. I bought over $600 worth of clothes for only $190, including a $180 Gore-tex windbreaker for only $45.
Score!
1. Lock your door.
2. Don't go out.
But seriously folks, I did venture out into the madness. I did find that if you get to the malls around opening time, (8:30 in the case of Mayfair Mall), you do get about an hour or so before the crowds seriously start frothing and foaming at the mouth, and it's not too bad. But you need to know what you want and where you're going. A quick surgical strike.
I hit Eddie Bauer and hit the big time. I bought over $600 worth of clothes for only $190, including a $180 Gore-tex windbreaker for only $45.
Score!
Time To Switch Sides
Okay folks, it's time to switch. Clearly the Republicans are going to stay in power forever. Save yourself some time and change from Blue to Red right now. Here's all you need to know. (Thanks to long time reader Elizabeth for finding this.)
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
My Favourite Christmas
As a young tyke of eight, my family moved to Victoria from my birthplace in Montréal. (My parents decided that a place where tanks prowled through the streets at night, soldiers with pointy bayonets manned street corners during the day, terrorists were kidnapping and killing politicians, and civil rights were revoked at the stroke of a Prime Minister's pen was probably not a good place to live. But I digress. And worse, I'm dating myself.)
The one thing I remember most about Montréal was the snow. Every winter, Montréal would be covered in a fluffy white eiderdown that would last from November to April. (Okay, so after six months the novelty was wearing off, even for me.) Winter wasn't winter without snow, and neither was Christmas. Picture postcard time, right? Chestnuts roasting on a bough of holly.
Or something like thatwhenehn we moved, I knew only one thing about Victoria. It doesn't snow here. I was going to experience my first Green Christmas. In fact Victoria averages 1 White Christmas every 25 years.
As Christmas approached, I had a real problem getting into the festive spirit. It just wasn't going to be Christmas without snow on the ground. Before going to bed on Christmas Eve, I took one last look out the living room window.
Green.
And brown.
I trundled off to bed and like all eight year-old kids, spent a good ten minutes sleeping, and the rest of the night wondering what Santa was going to bring us.
Just after four o'clock, I could stand the anticipation no longer, and started my carefully worked out procedure for waking up my parents.
First, I started coughing. Nothing wakes a parefaster thanhan a kid coughing in the middle of the night.
Next, I went to the bathroom, being sure to feign some sort of trouble with the toilet to plausibly explain why I flushed it five times.
Returning to my bedroom, I made sure I knocked over an unbreakable but noisy object. (Again, another sure way to wake up your parents.)
Finally for good measure, I stepped on the cat. (No, not really, but I made you laugh, didn't I?)
After being abused in this way for half an hour, my family finally relented, and they got up. We went to the living room, and, sure enough, the tree was almost buried beneath Santa's gifts, but I was still a little let-down because, after all, Christmas isn't Christmas without snow.
I went to the window to take a peek anyway and -- my eyes must have turned as big as basketballs -- there was six inches of snow on the ground! I couldn't believe it!
A cold front had blown in unexpectedly overnight and was dumping snow on the city. I probably would have kept staring if I hadn't seen some poor guy struggling down the street. My dad realized it was the paper boy and ran out side and gave him five bucks, which was really nice considering we didn't subscribe.
That was my best Christmas ever.
And of course, a day later all the snow was gone.
The one thing I remember most about Montréal was the snow. Every winter, Montréal would be covered in a fluffy white eiderdown that would last from November to April. (Okay, so after six months the novelty was wearing off, even for me.) Winter wasn't winter without snow, and neither was Christmas. Picture postcard time, right? Chestnuts roasting on a bough of holly.
Or something like thatwhenehn we moved, I knew only one thing about Victoria. It doesn't snow here. I was going to experience my first Green Christmas. In fact Victoria averages 1 White Christmas every 25 years.
As Christmas approached, I had a real problem getting into the festive spirit. It just wasn't going to be Christmas without snow on the ground. Before going to bed on Christmas Eve, I took one last look out the living room window.
Green.
And brown.
I trundled off to bed and like all eight year-old kids, spent a good ten minutes sleeping, and the rest of the night wondering what Santa was going to bring us.
Just after four o'clock, I could stand the anticipation no longer, and started my carefully worked out procedure for waking up my parents.
First, I started coughing. Nothing wakes a parefaster thanhan a kid coughing in the middle of the night.
Next, I went to the bathroom, being sure to feign some sort of trouble with the toilet to plausibly explain why I flushed it five times.
Returning to my bedroom, I made sure I knocked over an unbreakable but noisy object. (Again, another sure way to wake up your parents.)
Finally for good measure, I stepped on the cat. (No, not really, but I made you laugh, didn't I?)
After being abused in this way for half an hour, my family finally relented, and they got up. We went to the living room, and, sure enough, the tree was almost buried beneath Santa's gifts, but I was still a little let-down because, after all, Christmas isn't Christmas without snow.
I went to the window to take a peek anyway and -- my eyes must have turned as big as basketballs -- there was six inches of snow on the ground! I couldn't believe it!
A cold front had blown in unexpectedly overnight and was dumping snow on the city. I probably would have kept staring if I hadn't seen some poor guy struggling down the street. My dad realized it was the paper boy and ran out side and gave him five bucks, which was really nice considering we didn't subscribe.
That was my best Christmas ever.
And of course, a day later all the snow was gone.
Friday, December 23, 2005
The Secret Code
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still live," Osama himself decided to send George W. a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: "370HSSV-0773H"
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it so it went to the CIA, on then to the NSA, then to the Secret Service. With no clue as to it's meaning, they eventually asked Canada's RCMP for help.
The RCMP cabled the White House as follows:
"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down!"
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it so it went to the CIA, on then to the NSA, then to the Secret Service. With no clue as to it's meaning, they eventually asked Canada's RCMP for help.
The RCMP cabled the White House as follows:
"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down!"
Thursday, December 22, 2005
It Was a Dark and Stormy Christmas Night
Okay, I've heard of a White Christmas, a Green Christmas, a Wet Christmas, even a Merry Christmas... but tonight Victoria is experiencing a Lightning Christmas.
A rare thunderstorm has roared through town. There was a number of hits just off the lower end of Carey Road, as a couple of trees were cooked, and a whole block of homes lost some windows.
The Wal-Mart, full of Christmas shoppers, also took a direct lightning hit. No one was hurt, but the seasonal consumption orgy was disrupted.
(And speaking of Wal-Mart getting hit by lightning, click here.)
Now, what was that they say about using computer during a lightning storm? That for safety's sake, one should not be on the computer in case lightning strikes because one might get---
zzzzt
OW! Ack!! Holy jees--
zzzzzt....
crackle--
Aaaah---!
thud....
...sizzle....
A rare thunderstorm has roared through town. There was a number of hits just off the lower end of Carey Road, as a couple of trees were cooked, and a whole block of homes lost some windows.
The Wal-Mart, full of Christmas shoppers, also took a direct lightning hit. No one was hurt, but the seasonal consumption orgy was disrupted.
(And speaking of Wal-Mart getting hit by lightning, click here.)
Now, what was that they say about using computer during a lightning storm? That for safety's sake, one should not be on the computer in case lightning strikes because one might get---
zzzzt
OW! Ack!! Holy jees--
zzzzzt....
crackle--
Aaaah---!
thud....
...sizzle....
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Today's DVD purchases 2005.12.20
Serenity
Loved Firefly, loved Serenity. Space opera done well for a change!
Loved Firefly, loved Serenity. Space opera done well for a change!
And in Other News... The Worst Christmas Singles Ever
Find them here.
And I don't care what it says, I like John Mellencamp's version of I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus.
And I don't care what it says, I like John Mellencamp's version of I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Election Watch '06: A Modest Tax Proposal
There's been a lot of talk in this campaign about cutting the GST and/or cutting Income Tax. Which is fairer? Which helps out low and middle income Canadians the most?
Let me offer my own modest tax proposal -- let's scrap income tax and raise the GST.
Now before anyone calls the looney tuner on me, consider these numbers:
Canadian Government Fiscal 2004 Revenue
GST $28,200,000,000
Income Tax $84,800,000,000
Corporate Tax $27,400,000,000
Note that the GST revenue is almost exactly one third the amount of income tax revenue. So scrapping income tax and raising the GST from 7% to 28% would be revenue neutral.
Yes, 28% is a whopping tax to spend on purchases, but on the other hand there would no income tax deductions off my paycheque. For me personally, that's a savings of around $350 a month. Suddenly, my idea doesn't seem so wacky now, does it?
The GST is strictly a voluntary tax. It automatically taxes an individual based on the taxpayer's ability to pay. For instance:
- a rich person might spend $4000 on a wide-screen HD TV. That's $1120 in tax.
- a middle-class person might spend $1500 on an LCD TV. $420 in tax.
- a lower-income person might spend $500 on the last of the tube TVs. $140 in tax.
Clearly, there are some problems with my idea. Low-income Canadians who pay little or no income tax are not going to benefit from this scheme, so some sort of equalizing payment would have to be developed.
And rich people, some of whom will do anything to avoid paying taxes, will undoubtedly try to import goods from other countries to avoid the new GST.
But in fact, higher income earners should love the new GST. The higher the income bracket, the bigger the income tax savings.
And imagine the other savings. Imagine a vastly downsized CCRA, not spending money to track, compile and check tax returns.
No more income tax audits, and no more income tax forms. No more loopholes for smart accountants to exploit.
I think there's something here. Paul, Stephen, Jack... any comments?
Let me offer my own modest tax proposal -- let's scrap income tax and raise the GST.
Now before anyone calls the looney tuner on me, consider these numbers:
Canadian Government Fiscal 2004 Revenue
GST $28,200,000,000
Income Tax $84,800,000,000
Corporate Tax $27,400,000,000
Note that the GST revenue is almost exactly one third the amount of income tax revenue. So scrapping income tax and raising the GST from 7% to 28% would be revenue neutral.
Yes, 28% is a whopping tax to spend on purchases, but on the other hand there would no income tax deductions off my paycheque. For me personally, that's a savings of around $350 a month. Suddenly, my idea doesn't seem so wacky now, does it?
The GST is strictly a voluntary tax. It automatically taxes an individual based on the taxpayer's ability to pay. For instance:
- a rich person might spend $4000 on a wide-screen HD TV. That's $1120 in tax.
- a middle-class person might spend $1500 on an LCD TV. $420 in tax.
- a lower-income person might spend $500 on the last of the tube TVs. $140 in tax.
Clearly, there are some problems with my idea. Low-income Canadians who pay little or no income tax are not going to benefit from this scheme, so some sort of equalizing payment would have to be developed.
And rich people, some of whom will do anything to avoid paying taxes, will undoubtedly try to import goods from other countries to avoid the new GST.
But in fact, higher income earners should love the new GST. The higher the income bracket, the bigger the income tax savings.
And imagine the other savings. Imagine a vastly downsized CCRA, not spending money to track, compile and check tax returns.
No more income tax audits, and no more income tax forms. No more loopholes for smart accountants to exploit.
I think there's something here. Paul, Stephen, Jack... any comments?
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Election Watch '06: Debate #1
Caught a bit of last night's debate.
Gilles Duceppe, as usual, was the most polished and made the most sense.
And if he didn't have this totally bizarre fixation on breaking up a perfectly good country, he'd probably make a great Prime Minister.
Gilles Duceppe, as usual, was the most polished and made the most sense.
And if he didn't have this totally bizarre fixation on breaking up a perfectly good country, he'd probably make a great Prime Minister.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Election Watch '06: War of the Words
Paul Martin is scoring points in the time-honored tradition of bashing US Presidents during an election campaign. (click here)
Even Stephen Harper had to admit that the US Ambassador's intervention was ill-advised.
But are Martin's tough words mere electioneering? Remember that he couldn't wait to have his picture taken with Bush. And Harper would have had us fighting in Iraq if he had been PM.
It's all games and posturing.
Speaking of which, how ironic it is that the US seems to have no aversion to telling other countries how to behave, up to and including invasion to make their point, yet get very agitated should anyone dare to criticize them.
Even Stephen Harper had to admit that the US Ambassador's intervention was ill-advised.
But are Martin's tough words mere electioneering? Remember that he couldn't wait to have his picture taken with Bush. And Harper would have had us fighting in Iraq if he had been PM.
It's all games and posturing.
Speaking of which, how ironic it is that the US seems to have no aversion to telling other countries how to behave, up to and including invasion to make their point, yet get very agitated should anyone dare to criticize them.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
And in Other News... Okay, So It's Not Just Me
Feeling a little warmer this year?
British scientists are agreeing with you. 2005 was the second-warmest year on record, and the warmest ever in the Northern Hemisphere.
Thank god we have George W. Bush to assure us that the proven facts about global warming are all in our heads.
British scientists are agreeing with you. 2005 was the second-warmest year on record, and the warmest ever in the Northern Hemisphere.
Thank god we have George W. Bush to assure us that the proven facts about global warming are all in our heads.
What Action Hero Would You Be?
It's a busy day at work. Honest. :)
What Action Hero Would You Be?
My rankings:
Batman, the Dark Knight - 67%
Yes, I like spandex and blue briefs. This is a problem?
Lara Croft - 63%
An action hero needs to be in touch with his feminine side.
Indiana Jones - 58%
I like hats.
Neo, the "One" - 58%
And I like to be cunningly oblique and obscurely self-referential. Your point?
Captain Jack Sparrow - 54%
Johnny Depp was robbed at the Oscars!
William Wallace - 54%
We're out of cheese, old chuck.
The Amazing Spider-Man - 50%
Red spandex works, too.
The Terminator - 50%
Ray Bans and black leather have their uses, too.
Maximus - 46%
Billy, do you like gladiator movies?
What Action Hero Would You Be?
My rankings:
Batman, the Dark Knight - 67%
Yes, I like spandex and blue briefs. This is a problem?
Lara Croft - 63%
An action hero needs to be in touch with his feminine side.
Indiana Jones - 58%
I like hats.
Neo, the "One" - 58%
And I like to be cunningly oblique and obscurely self-referential. Your point?
Captain Jack Sparrow - 54%
Johnny Depp was robbed at the Oscars!
William Wallace - 54%
We're out of cheese, old chuck.
The Amazing Spider-Man - 50%
Red spandex works, too.
The Terminator - 50%
Ray Bans and black leather have their uses, too.
Maximus - 46%
Billy, do you like gladiator movies?
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Election Watch '06: The Phony Election
I'd love to comment more about the election campaign so far, but there really isn't much to say. All the major parties are trying to bribe us again with our own money.
Yes, Harper is scoring some points with his daily policy announcements, and that has the Liberals on the defensive. But he loses points for those awful TV ads.
The NDP isn't saying much, but they have the best ads.
The Bloc has been running their usual quiet and competent campaign, but they clearly need some help with their goaltender rankings. Have they even feard of Curtis Joseph -- hello?
The Liberals are losing the initiative to the constant Tory policy announcements, going into a reactive instead a proactive mode. But I suspect none of this really matters. The Liberals are smart enough to know when the campaigning really begins.
We're in a period I'm dubbing "the phony campaign." The parties, and the voters, are in cruise mode, not getting into the real grim and gritty electioneering until after New Years. The real campaign will start on January 2. Three weeks of hardcore vote buying. Be prepared for the mud to fly.
Yes, Harper is scoring some points with his daily policy announcements, and that has the Liberals on the defensive. But he loses points for those awful TV ads.
The NDP isn't saying much, but they have the best ads.
The Bloc has been running their usual quiet and competent campaign, but they clearly need some help with their goaltender rankings. Have they even feard of Curtis Joseph -- hello?
The Liberals are losing the initiative to the constant Tory policy announcements, going into a reactive instead a proactive mode. But I suspect none of this really matters. The Liberals are smart enough to know when the campaigning really begins.
We're in a period I'm dubbing "the phony campaign." The parties, and the voters, are in cruise mode, not getting into the real grim and gritty electioneering until after New Years. The real campaign will start on January 2. Three weeks of hardcore vote buying. Be prepared for the mud to fly.
Christmas Surprises
I like to get to get my Christmas shopping done early. This year, I'm almost finished. I'm waiting for one last present to arrive from Amazon (hopefully today), and once that's wrapped, I'm done. Finito, baby.
I generally start planning my gift buying in September, and try to have it done in early December. And I also keep a look out all year long for gifts. If I spot a something that's perfect for so-and-so in August, I'll buy it and keep it.
Using this method, one year I found myself finished my Christmas shopping in July.
No, really.
I even had lots of left over wrapping paper and I had everything bundled, wrapped, tagged and packed into a box in my closet a full five months before Christmas.
One unexpected benefit from this was that everyone including me was surprised with what I had given people for Christmas.
As the family gathered and presents were unwrapped, I was just as excited to see what I had given as the recipient. "Hurry up and open it," I'd say, "I can't wait to see what I got you."
I generally start planning my gift buying in September, and try to have it done in early December. And I also keep a look out all year long for gifts. If I spot a something that's perfect for so-and-so in August, I'll buy it and keep it.
Using this method, one year I found myself finished my Christmas shopping in July.
No, really.
I even had lots of left over wrapping paper and I had everything bundled, wrapped, tagged and packed into a box in my closet a full five months before Christmas.
One unexpected benefit from this was that everyone including me was surprised with what I had given people for Christmas.
As the family gathered and presents were unwrapped, I was just as excited to see what I had given as the recipient. "Hurry up and open it," I'd say, "I can't wait to see what I got you."
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Linus Health Update #3
Linus had another trip to the vet today, this time just a recheck of his blood pressure. His BP was up a little, so the vet increased his BP meds while his thyroid meds remain the same. Otherwise, he remains the same, which is okay and holding his own.
His attitude was another matter as he hissed and complained. But he was mostly a good kitty!
His attitude was another matter as he hissed and complained. But he was mostly a good kitty!
Today's DVD purchases 2005.12.13
The Simpsons - Season 7
What can you say about the longest-running sitcom in television history? The last of the "Conan O'Brien years," Season 7 marks the height of The Simpsons rise to the cultural juggernaut that it remains. This season features the conclusion to "Who Shot Mr. Burns" and one my personal favorite episodes, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular."
Even after all these years, the show remains fresh and funny. I watched the new episode last Sunday with Sideshow Bob in Italy. It still fills me with laughter.
Mmmmm... laughter.
Sin City - Recut and Extended
I liked Sin City, but then I'm a big Frank Miller fan. I'm looking forward to checking this out.
The King Kong Production Diaries
Here's a novel marketing gimmick -- put out 2 DVDs worth of behind the scenes special features the same week that the movie opens. But what sort of goofball's gonna fall for that?
Well, me, for one.
What can you say about the longest-running sitcom in television history? The last of the "Conan O'Brien years," Season 7 marks the height of The Simpsons rise to the cultural juggernaut that it remains. This season features the conclusion to "Who Shot Mr. Burns" and one my personal favorite episodes, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular."
Even after all these years, the show remains fresh and funny. I watched the new episode last Sunday with Sideshow Bob in Italy. It still fills me with laughter.
Mmmmm... laughter.
Sin City - Recut and Extended
I liked Sin City, but then I'm a big Frank Miller fan. I'm looking forward to checking this out.
The King Kong Production Diaries
Here's a novel marketing gimmick -- put out 2 DVDs worth of behind the scenes special features the same week that the movie opens. But what sort of goofball's gonna fall for that?
Well, me, for one.
And in other News... Partners in Crime
Caught this on a sports radio show last night. (SportsTalk, Canada's longest-running radio sports show, now in its 21st year with its original host, Dan Russell. Thus endeth the free plug.) What it was doing on a sports show, I have no idea. It supposedly came off the Internet, but I haven't been able to find it, so I can't even tell you where it took place.
Seems that two police officers got into a bit of an argument while out in their cruiser. The male officer, wanted to stop to get a pop, while his partner, a female officer, did not want to.
They argued.
Then they fought over the steering wheel.
Finally, the male officer TASERed the female officer.
Did I mention that the female officer was driving the cruiser?
The male officer has been charged with assault and could face three months in prison.
Clearly, these two are in love.
Seems that two police officers got into a bit of an argument while out in their cruiser. The male officer, wanted to stop to get a pop, while his partner, a female officer, did not want to.
They argued.
Then they fought over the steering wheel.
Finally, the male officer TASERed the female officer.
Did I mention that the female officer was driving the cruiser?
The male officer has been charged with assault and could face three months in prison.
Clearly, these two are in love.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Beauty Tips From Moose Jaw
Will Ferguson is a very funny guy.
Wait, scratch that. I assume he's a funny guy -- I really don't know Will Ferguson from Adam.
Okay, scratch that, too. I know Adam and he is a funny guy. And so is Will Ferguson (I assume).
But they aren't the same guy.
Or are they?
Now that I think about it, I've never seen them both in the same place. In fact, I've never seen Will Ferguson anywhere. Could it be that they really are the same guy? Have I inadvertantly stumbled on the biggest conspiracy since Stephen Harper's brain was stolen by aliens?
Sorry. Let me start again.
Will Ferguson may be a very funny guy. But without question, he is a very funny writer. It's not by accident that he's won the Leacock Medal for Humour. (Then again, it might well have been an accident. But no one's admitting anything.)
Which brings me in a surprisingly roundabout way to his recent book Beauty Tips From Moose Jaw, a time-jumbled travelogue across Canada. He starts at a poetry slam here in Victoria, and meanders from West to East, ending in L'anse Aux Meadows, the home of the first Norse settlement in North America. On the way, he retraces his youth in the high North, looks for polar bears near Churchill, tries to find the meaning of Canada with his brother, tries to find the meaning of Quebec with another brother, and even attempts to find the meanings in that strange variation of english that is spoken in Newfoundland.
Ferguson is always funny. (Anyone who rates a book about Canadian Prime Ministers called Bastards and Boneheads gets an 'A' in my book.) And this book is warm and witty embrace of Canadiana, a wonderfully written journey exploring the backwaters and backstreets.
A great read.
Wait, scratch that. I assume he's a funny guy -- I really don't know Will Ferguson from Adam.
Okay, scratch that, too. I know Adam and he is a funny guy. And so is Will Ferguson (I assume).
But they aren't the same guy.
Or are they?
Now that I think about it, I've never seen them both in the same place. In fact, I've never seen Will Ferguson anywhere. Could it be that they really are the same guy? Have I inadvertantly stumbled on the biggest conspiracy since Stephen Harper's brain was stolen by aliens?
Sorry. Let me start again.
Will Ferguson may be a very funny guy. But without question, he is a very funny writer. It's not by accident that he's won the Leacock Medal for Humour. (Then again, it might well have been an accident. But no one's admitting anything.)
Which brings me in a surprisingly roundabout way to his recent book Beauty Tips From Moose Jaw, a time-jumbled travelogue across Canada. He starts at a poetry slam here in Victoria, and meanders from West to East, ending in L'anse Aux Meadows, the home of the first Norse settlement in North America. On the way, he retraces his youth in the high North, looks for polar bears near Churchill, tries to find the meaning of Canada with his brother, tries to find the meaning of Quebec with another brother, and even attempts to find the meanings in that strange variation of english that is spoken in Newfoundland.
Ferguson is always funny. (Anyone who rates a book about Canadian Prime Ministers called Bastards and Boneheads gets an 'A' in my book.) And this book is warm and witty embrace of Canadiana, a wonderfully written journey exploring the backwaters and backstreets.
A great read.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
King Kong (1933)
It’s been years since I’ve seen the original King Kong, I gotta tell ya, this film rocks!
The new special edition DVD features the fully restored 1933 cut (not the 1938 “censored cut” which most casual viewers would be familiar with), and it looks gorgeous. It probably hasn’t looked or sounded this good since its original release.
And yes, the acting is a bit over the top, the dialogue a bit corny, and the special effects don’t hold a candle to what can be done today, but 70 years later, it still holds together remarkably well. The plot, as if you didn’t know, concerns a film-maker who’s heard rumors that some thing exists on a south sea island. He takes his camera crew and a young ingénue (Canada’s own Fay Wray) to the island and discovers the thing is Kong, a giant ape. He plans to use Wray’s character as bait to lure Kong into capture, and then showcase the ape in a traveling show and make millions. The plan goes wrong as Kong falls in love with the bait, and trying to find her, escapes in New York, causing mayhem and death.
The film is full of classic cinema images and moments. And being the 1933 version, many scenes of violence have been restored. Kong was vicious and brutal.
The special effects, for their time, are staggering. This was the Star Wars of 1933. No one had ever seen anything like this. The film-makers who trace their inspiration back to Willis O’Brien’s 18-ich tall Kong miniature are too numerous to mention, but some that are featured on the supplements are Peter Jackson, Ken Ralston, Bob Burns, Rick Baker, Ben Burtt, and Ray Harryhausen. And speaking of supplements, there’s an hour-long biography of Merion C. Cooper, who produced Kong, and a nearly three-hour documentary on the film itself. Considering that almost no behind the scenes material exists from the actual production itself and that hardly anyone involved is still alive, the documentary does a fine job showing how the film was made.
If you haven’t seen Kong in a while, and remember it as being hokey, well, yes, you’re right. But Kong still has the power to overcome all the pitfalls that a 70 year-old movie has for a 21st century audience. Yes, it’s cheesy, over-acted, hammy dialogue, with cheap sets, and crude special effects. It still works, and works brilliantly. Check it out. You owe it to yourself. And Kong.
The new special edition DVD features the fully restored 1933 cut (not the 1938 “censored cut” which most casual viewers would be familiar with), and it looks gorgeous. It probably hasn’t looked or sounded this good since its original release.
And yes, the acting is a bit over the top, the dialogue a bit corny, and the special effects don’t hold a candle to what can be done today, but 70 years later, it still holds together remarkably well. The plot, as if you didn’t know, concerns a film-maker who’s heard rumors that some thing exists on a south sea island. He takes his camera crew and a young ingénue (Canada’s own Fay Wray) to the island and discovers the thing is Kong, a giant ape. He plans to use Wray’s character as bait to lure Kong into capture, and then showcase the ape in a traveling show and make millions. The plan goes wrong as Kong falls in love with the bait, and trying to find her, escapes in New York, causing mayhem and death.
The film is full of classic cinema images and moments. And being the 1933 version, many scenes of violence have been restored. Kong was vicious and brutal.
The special effects, for their time, are staggering. This was the Star Wars of 1933. No one had ever seen anything like this. The film-makers who trace their inspiration back to Willis O’Brien’s 18-ich tall Kong miniature are too numerous to mention, but some that are featured on the supplements are Peter Jackson, Ken Ralston, Bob Burns, Rick Baker, Ben Burtt, and Ray Harryhausen. And speaking of supplements, there’s an hour-long biography of Merion C. Cooper, who produced Kong, and a nearly three-hour documentary on the film itself. Considering that almost no behind the scenes material exists from the actual production itself and that hardly anyone involved is still alive, the documentary does a fine job showing how the film was made.
If you haven’t seen Kong in a while, and remember it as being hokey, well, yes, you’re right. But Kong still has the power to overcome all the pitfalls that a 70 year-old movie has for a 21st century audience. Yes, it’s cheesy, over-acted, hammy dialogue, with cheap sets, and crude special effects. It still works, and works brilliantly. Check it out. You owe it to yourself. And Kong.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
John Lennon and the Button Man
The Button Man was a man that I struck up an acquaintence with when he worked at a local comic shop many years ago. He was middle-aged, I guess maybe he was my age now. He lost his job when the comic shop consolidated its two locations into one, perhaps my first personal experience with "downsizing."
He was also a music fan. We were both big fans of The Who. (In later years, I would buy a few Who items from his collection when he was short of cash, which I kept until I had to sell them because I was short of cash. The circle of life.)
New Wave and Punk were tearing apart the musical strata and the Button Man had starting bringing music buttons into the comic shop before he was let go. The buttons, mostly of Brit new wave Bands (The Selector, The Stranglers, Madness) were popular and selling well, so he continued to order them. He wore a demin jacket that he covered with buttons, and he stood on a downtown street corner. Kids would start talking to him about the buttons and he eventually he would sell them a button or two. He also brought in buttons from older acts, too. All the bands were getting in on the button craze.
He knew I wasn't much into the punk bands, and that I liked some new wave. (The Police were okay -- they might amount to something one of these days.) He knew I preferred some of the older bands, and when he got new buttons from Pink Floyd, The Who, Queen, Rush or The Beatles he always pointed out them to me.
25 years ago this very afternoon, I bought a button from the Button Man. It's a small button, a black and white rendering of an early Beatles promo photo, the four of them in their Brian Epstein suits. I still have it.
It says, "Come Back, Beatles." Hours later, any hope of a Beatles reunion was terminated by five rounds from a madman's gun.
I don't know what's worse about anniversaries of famous deaths.
Is it that yet again we are forced recognize the fact that an amazingly creative talent was stolen from us many years too soon, killed by an explosion of rage and anger, betrayed by the very thing that makes us all human?
Or is it yet another reminder that the years are passing and I am another day closer to facing my own mortality.
Either way, the result is that I am now two years older than John Lennon will ever be. And that leaves me sad.
He was also a music fan. We were both big fans of The Who. (In later years, I would buy a few Who items from his collection when he was short of cash, which I kept until I had to sell them because I was short of cash. The circle of life.)
New Wave and Punk were tearing apart the musical strata and the Button Man had starting bringing music buttons into the comic shop before he was let go. The buttons, mostly of Brit new wave Bands (The Selector, The Stranglers, Madness) were popular and selling well, so he continued to order them. He wore a demin jacket that he covered with buttons, and he stood on a downtown street corner. Kids would start talking to him about the buttons and he eventually he would sell them a button or two. He also brought in buttons from older acts, too. All the bands were getting in on the button craze.
He knew I wasn't much into the punk bands, and that I liked some new wave. (The Police were okay -- they might amount to something one of these days.) He knew I preferred some of the older bands, and when he got new buttons from Pink Floyd, The Who, Queen, Rush or The Beatles he always pointed out them to me.
25 years ago this very afternoon, I bought a button from the Button Man. It's a small button, a black and white rendering of an early Beatles promo photo, the four of them in their Brian Epstein suits. I still have it.
It says, "Come Back, Beatles." Hours later, any hope of a Beatles reunion was terminated by five rounds from a madman's gun.
I don't know what's worse about anniversaries of famous deaths.
Is it that yet again we are forced recognize the fact that an amazingly creative talent was stolen from us many years too soon, killed by an explosion of rage and anger, betrayed by the very thing that makes us all human?
Or is it yet another reminder that the years are passing and I am another day closer to facing my own mortality.
Either way, the result is that I am now two years older than John Lennon will ever be. And that leaves me sad.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Alien Apocalypse
In the not too distant future, insectoid aliens have landed on earth and have destroyed much of humanity. The few humans who survived are forced to work in slave lumber camps. It seems that the aliens like to eat wood, preferably when it's chopped down and cut into 2x4s. And when they're not biting people's heads off.
In Oregon, the last human spaceship finally returns to earth after 80 years in space (relativistically speaking). Two of its crewmembers are played by B-movie king Bruce Campbell and Renee (Xena) O'Conner. Together, they must convince their fellow humans to throw off the yoke of slavery, to gather together and fight as one for freedom, to blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. You get the idea.
This is cheese with a capital mozzarella. Shot on a low-budget in Bulgaria, this film has the prerequisites to qualify has a b-movie: cheap sets, cheap costumes, badly dubbed foreign actors, and cheap fx. On the other hand, Campbell and cast are almost able to carry it off. It works as a film. Not as a great film, but then it's not supposed to be.
The aliens are a good combination of puppets and CGI, the Bulgarian locations are gorgeous. The script is not-overly serious, but never falls into total camp either, trying to keep a nice balance.
This is certainly worth a look if you want a fun, no thinking required flick to rent. And it's got giant insect aliens biting people's heads off! How could you go wrong renting this?
In Oregon, the last human spaceship finally returns to earth after 80 years in space (relativistically speaking). Two of its crewmembers are played by B-movie king Bruce Campbell and Renee (Xena) O'Conner. Together, they must convince their fellow humans to throw off the yoke of slavery, to gather together and fight as one for freedom, to blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. You get the idea.
This is cheese with a capital mozzarella. Shot on a low-budget in Bulgaria, this film has the prerequisites to qualify has a b-movie: cheap sets, cheap costumes, badly dubbed foreign actors, and cheap fx. On the other hand, Campbell and cast are almost able to carry it off. It works as a film. Not as a great film, but then it's not supposed to be.
The aliens are a good combination of puppets and CGI, the Bulgarian locations are gorgeous. The script is not-overly serious, but never falls into total camp either, trying to keep a nice balance.
This is certainly worth a look if you want a fun, no thinking required flick to rent. And it's got giant insect aliens biting people's heads off! How could you go wrong renting this?
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Today's DVD purchases 2005.12.06
Fantastic 4
Widescreen, of course. In fact, I had to endure the confused rantings of the customer ahead of me in the line who simply was not getting the "full screen/wide screen" thing and demanded to know why she couldn't get the "proper version" ( read full screen) version of whatever movie she was buying while the clerk had to explain that the widescreen version ("the one with the bars?" asked the disappointed customer) was the proper version, and that not all movies are released with the choice of full screen or widescreen and that no full screen version of whatever movie it was existed. I'll bet she drives her kids to soccer in a minivan. But I digress.
F4 wasn't the underwhelming experience that many reviewers thought it was. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. It just...was.
(And how come you can be overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but not just whelmed? As in, "I saw Fantastic 4 last week. I gotta say, it was a pretty average movie, and I was totally whelmed by it." Yes, another digression. Deal.)
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Widescreen and Unrated. What can I say? Super Troopers amused me and I had $25 in HMV money that I had to spend on something!
Widescreen, of course. In fact, I had to endure the confused rantings of the customer ahead of me in the line who simply was not getting the "full screen/wide screen" thing and demanded to know why she couldn't get the "proper version" ( read full screen) version of whatever movie she was buying while the clerk had to explain that the widescreen version ("the one with the bars?" asked the disappointed customer) was the proper version, and that not all movies are released with the choice of full screen or widescreen and that no full screen version of whatever movie it was existed. I'll bet she drives her kids to soccer in a minivan. But I digress.
F4 wasn't the underwhelming experience that many reviewers thought it was. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. It just...was.
(And how come you can be overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but not just whelmed? As in, "I saw Fantastic 4 last week. I gotta say, it was a pretty average movie, and I was totally whelmed by it." Yes, another digression. Deal.)
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Widescreen and Unrated. What can I say? Super Troopers amused me and I had $25 in HMV money that I had to spend on something!
Monday, December 05, 2005
Man With the Screaming Brain
B-movie king Bruce Campbell stars in (and co-wrote and directed) Man With the Screaming Brain. Campbell plays an American businessman who, along with his wife, is in Bulagria for a business meeting. He's the typical "ugly American," loud, impatient an dimpolite. His marrige is on the rocks, and he doesn't help matters by flirting with a mysterious gypsy woman. His wife helps even less by giving their cab driver an extra big tip. It turns out that the cab driver was engaged to the gypsy, resulting in all manner of murder and mayhem. Fortunately, the bodies end up in the hands of a mad Bulgarian scientist (Stacey Keeach(?!)) who (with his Russian assistant played by Ted Raimi) has a knack for transplanting brains and resurrecting bodies.
Essentially, this is pretty silly stuff. It gives Bruce Campbell a chance to do his best Steve Martin impression, and his character ends up sharing his brain with his wife's lover, the cab driver. Shot on location in Bulgaria, the film has pretty good production values for a film of with a limited budget.
There's a good number of extras for a low budget movie. There's some behind the scenes docs, but the best one is a short feature where Campbell and his writing partner chart the 20+ years it took to get this film made. This was worth the price of the DVD all by itself.
Nothing in the film is overly impressive, yet nothing is really embarrassing either. Well, maybe Ted Raimi's version of Russian rapping. Thankfully, it's short. Otherwise, it's a solid and enjoyable, fun B-movie.
Essentially, this is pretty silly stuff. It gives Bruce Campbell a chance to do his best Steve Martin impression, and his character ends up sharing his brain with his wife's lover, the cab driver. Shot on location in Bulgaria, the film has pretty good production values for a film of with a limited budget.
There's a good number of extras for a low budget movie. There's some behind the scenes docs, but the best one is a short feature where Campbell and his writing partner chart the 20+ years it took to get this film made. This was worth the price of the DVD all by itself.
Nothing in the film is overly impressive, yet nothing is really embarrassing either. Well, maybe Ted Raimi's version of Russian rapping. Thankfully, it's short. Otherwise, it's a solid and enjoyable, fun B-movie.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Snow!
Victoria is recovering from its first snowfall of the year. We received, oh golly, a good centimetre, maybe even a centimetre and a half over the last couple of days.
Frankly, it didn't even cover the grass on the lawn. It wasn't even worth taking a picture of. (And after buying a digital camera last year, believe me that's saying something.)
But on the other hand, as I prepare to hang up the Christmas lights, it does put a small holiday feeling in the air, along with the "bone-chilling" Victoria-cold that most Albertans would quaintly call a "warm front."
The rest of the country may laugh at our silly notions that -2 c, 20 kmh winds and a centimetre of snow constitutes a blizzard, but on the other hand I'm going kayaking on Sunday and riding my bike to work Monday.
Take that, Winnipeg!
Frankly, it didn't even cover the grass on the lawn. It wasn't even worth taking a picture of. (And after buying a digital camera last year, believe me that's saying something.)
But on the other hand, as I prepare to hang up the Christmas lights, it does put a small holiday feeling in the air, along with the "bone-chilling" Victoria-cold that most Albertans would quaintly call a "warm front."
The rest of the country may laugh at our silly notions that -2 c, 20 kmh winds and a centimetre of snow constitutes a blizzard, but on the other hand I'm going kayaking on Sunday and riding my bike to work Monday.
Take that, Winnipeg!
Friday, December 02, 2005
Election Watch '06: Is Harper a Bush in Beaver's Clothing?
Is Stephen Harper a neocon of the Bush variety?
Click here for an article exploring the connections between Bush's neocon cronies and Harper and his team.
Thanks to long-time reader Hope for pointing out this story!
Click here for an article exploring the connections between Bush's neocon cronies and Harper and his team.
Thanks to long-time reader Hope for pointing out this story!
It's the Crude, Dude
Linda McQuaig's new book It's the Crude, Dude highlights America preoccupation (no pun intended) with securing Middle East oil. It's a well-written, shameful indictment of post-war American foreign policy. But the real question is will anyone who reads it change their mind?
I call it the "Michael Moore syndrome." I've read all of Moore's books, and own all his movies (yes, even The Big One. And you've got to be a fan in order to sit through that one! But I digress.) So to me, Michael Moore is preaching to the choir. But what worries me is that Moore, and McQuaig with her book, is preaching only to the choir.
As much as I love them, did any right-winger come out of Bowling for Columbine or Fahrenheit 9/11 with their mind changed? I doubt it.
Mind you, it's not like I'm going to read Ann Coulter and suddenly say, "My god, the leftist dogma dribble that I've been following my whole life is so utterly, utterly wrong!"
I call it the "Michael Moore syndrome." I've read all of Moore's books, and own all his movies (yes, even The Big One. And you've got to be a fan in order to sit through that one! But I digress.) So to me, Michael Moore is preaching to the choir. But what worries me is that Moore, and McQuaig with her book, is preaching only to the choir.
As much as I love them, did any right-winger come out of Bowling for Columbine or Fahrenheit 9/11 with their mind changed? I doubt it.
Mind you, it's not like I'm going to read Ann Coulter and suddenly say, "My god, the leftist dogma dribble that I've been following my whole life is so utterly, utterly wrong!"
Thursday, December 01, 2005
The Ballad of Box Guy
The bus trip home from work was more eventful than usual yesterday.
At the main downtown bus stop, a young woman ran up to and got on the bus. A few seconds behind her, a young male wearing a black jacket and carrying a medium-sized box got on. Clearly, he had been running hard for the bus. He was out of breath and sweating. He sat down, asked his friend to pay for him (which she did), and pulled off his black jacket to reveal a white sweater underneath, and shoved his jacket in the box.
As the bus waited to leave, I noticed two bicycle cops riding slowly up the sidewalk. Immediately I thought, Riding bikes on the sidewalk, in dark clothes, no lights… if I did that, I’d get a ticket. They continued on, and I thought no more of them., at least not until someone else got on the bus and asked the bus driver if some guy in a black jacket carrying a box had boarded the bus.
“You!” the man cried when he saw the box-carrier. “Don’t move! The cops are coming!” He turned to the driver. “Don’t move, the cops are after this guy! Be careful, he has a knife in his pocket!” And he ran off the bus yelling for the cops.
So much for a quick bus ride home, I thought.
Box Guy stood up. “What?!!? I do not have a knife, oh man!” He turned to his friend. “Go home, honey. I’ll talk to you later,” he said, then got off the bus and waited for the cops to return.
And return they did, the two bike cops, plus a cruiser and a wagon. Girl friend sighed, gathered up their stuff, including the box that he had left on the bus, and got off the bus to share in whatever misery awaited Box Guy.
The cops didn’t seem to think Box Guy was much of a threat, but they did handcuff him. However, Box Guy seemed cooperative.
What had he done? I don’t know. I’m guessing he shoplifted something, probably sticking it in the box.
Not the best start to his holiday season.
At the main downtown bus stop, a young woman ran up to and got on the bus. A few seconds behind her, a young male wearing a black jacket and carrying a medium-sized box got on. Clearly, he had been running hard for the bus. He was out of breath and sweating. He sat down, asked his friend to pay for him (which she did), and pulled off his black jacket to reveal a white sweater underneath, and shoved his jacket in the box.
As the bus waited to leave, I noticed two bicycle cops riding slowly up the sidewalk. Immediately I thought, Riding bikes on the sidewalk, in dark clothes, no lights… if I did that, I’d get a ticket. They continued on, and I thought no more of them., at least not until someone else got on the bus and asked the bus driver if some guy in a black jacket carrying a box had boarded the bus.
“You!” the man cried when he saw the box-carrier. “Don’t move! The cops are coming!” He turned to the driver. “Don’t move, the cops are after this guy! Be careful, he has a knife in his pocket!” And he ran off the bus yelling for the cops.
So much for a quick bus ride home, I thought.
Box Guy stood up. “What?!!? I do not have a knife, oh man!” He turned to his friend. “Go home, honey. I’ll talk to you later,” he said, then got off the bus and waited for the cops to return.
And return they did, the two bike cops, plus a cruiser and a wagon. Girl friend sighed, gathered up their stuff, including the box that he had left on the bus, and got off the bus to share in whatever misery awaited Box Guy.
The cops didn’t seem to think Box Guy was much of a threat, but they did handcuff him. However, Box Guy seemed cooperative.
What had he done? I don’t know. I’m guessing he shoplifted something, probably sticking it in the box.
Not the best start to his holiday season.
Election Watch '06: Harper and the GST
Conservative leader Stephen Harper has announced the first big promise of the campaign, an immediate rollback of the GST to 6%, followed by a further 1% decrease sometime within the next 5 years.
At least Harper hasn't said what many from the right will tell you, that tax cuts such as these will pay for themselves. (BC Premier and noted convicted drunk driver Gordon Campbell said that very thing when, as his first action upon being sworn-in, was to enact a massive tax cut for high-income earners. This was followed by the largest deficit in provincial history and massive service cutbacks. But I digress. And if tax cuts really pay for themselves, Mr. Campbell, why not cut all taxes? It's a win-win! I don't pay any tax and the province somehow magically raises revenue to pay for services! But I digress again.) But making your first big pledge a cut in the hated GST seems like nothing more than a popularity grab.
And that couldback firee. Let's remember which party brought in the GST in the first place. Why, golly, it was those darn Conservatives!
Not that the Liberals are all solid ground here suddenly defending the GST. After all, they were elected in 1993 by saying they were going to repeal the GST outright. Last time I checked, I was still paying it.
At least Harper hasn't said what many from the right will tell you, that tax cuts such as these will pay for themselves. (BC Premier and noted convicted drunk driver Gordon Campbell said that very thing when, as his first action upon being sworn-in, was to enact a massive tax cut for high-income earners. This was followed by the largest deficit in provincial history and massive service cutbacks. But I digress. And if tax cuts really pay for themselves, Mr. Campbell, why not cut all taxes? It's a win-win! I don't pay any tax and the province somehow magically raises revenue to pay for services! But I digress again.) But making your first big pledge a cut in the hated GST seems like nothing more than a popularity grab.
And that couldback firee. Let's remember which party brought in the GST in the first place. Why, golly, it was those darn Conservatives!
Not that the Liberals are all solid ground here suddenly defending the GST. After all, they were elected in 1993 by saying they were going to repeal the GST outright. Last time I checked, I was still paying it.
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