The Spam Chronicles

FROM: THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER,INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT, REF: UKNL/26510460037/07.
BATCH: 24/00319/IPD.

ATTENTION: Sir/Madam
RE/AWARD NOTIFICATION: FINAL NOTICE

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement Today,27th March 2007, of winners of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY, THE UNITED KINGDOM INTERNATIONAL PROGRAM Sheld on 1st March 2007 in Croydon,London.
You email address was attached to ticket number 023-0148-790-459, with serial number 5063-11 drew The lucky numbers 43-11-44-37-10-43, and consequently Won you the lottery in the 2nd category.
You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay Of 500,000.00 British Pounds(GBP) in cash credited to file REF NO. UKNL/26510460037/07. To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary Agent;
NAME: DAVID WOOD.
TELEPHONE: +447031923807
+447031972486
Email: davidwood65@yahoo.com.hk

Sincerely,
Dr. Silas Aston
Zonal Co-ordinator

Dear Dr. Aston
Thank you so much for sending me a Final Notice that I was a big winner in a lottery that I've never heard of. Or ever received a First Notice for.
Imagine my shock and when I heard that I had won without ever buying a ticket for this lottery! I must be the luckiest person alive! This is like waking up and finding a new car in my driveway with no idea how it got there, or waking to find that George W. Bush is President and having no idea why anyone with normal mental faculties would vote for him -- twice!
I look forward to my winnings. Please send them to me as soon as pigs learn to fly.

Yours,

John

PS. Your grasp of the Queen's English, particularly capitalization, is amazing!