The Spam Chronicles 3

OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF CREDIT CONTROL
INTERNATIONAL CREDIT BANK PLC,101-103 AVENUE,
KWAME NKURUMAH,OUAGADOUGOU
BURKINA FASO.
PHONE NUMBER: +226-7803-5295.
Date: MARCH 2007.

Dear Sir/Madame,
REQUEST FOR YOU TO STAND AS A NEXT OF KIN AND REPATRIATE 5.5 MILLION USD TO YOUR PRIVATE/COMPANY ACCOUNT.
I was mandated by the Managing Director of INTERNATIONAL CREDIT BANK PLC to ascertain your interest and capability to Co-operate with us in actualizing this highly rewarding project on repatriation of funds to your country. Are you willing to be presented as the bonafide next of kin to Mr.Floyd Tarantino, a crude oil merchant from Australia. Until his untimely death by the Tsunami Disaster in Indonesia, Mr.Floyd operated a fixed Deposit account of Five Million five hundred thousand United States Dollars(US$5,500,000.00) with INTERNATIONAL CREDIT BANK PLC.
Sequel to his death, the Bank made concerted effort to contact the immediate family in Australia in order to re-claim and transfer the ownership of the fund.
Unfortunately, the Bank discovered recently that the immediate families of the depositor Mr. Floyd were also drastically affected by the same Tsunami while on holidays. Apparently, the fund is now in full custody of the Bank. After a very serious survey, I and the CEO of the Bank decided to repatriate this fund to a trustworthy and reliable overseas bank account for high yield investment portfolios.
The modality of disbursing the fund will be discussed fully with the Bank-Account owner/provider, which we are offering you.
All the documents establishing the deposit of the fund and empowering you to be Next of Kin/Beneficiary of the fund will be perfectly secured in your name if interested in helping secure the fund. Transfer of this fund can be swiftly and successfully implemented within 14 bank working days if you provide the necessary overseas infrastructure required to realize the objective.
Please protect my position in my bank by keeping everything secret and confidential until we transfer this funds to your distination. Be kind enough to confirm the receipt of this message for more clarification.
Awaiting your reply.
Sincerely,
Mr. Simpore Hamado (JP)


Dear Mr. Hamado,
Holy crap, you bankers in Burkina Faso are a bunch of thieving little rats, aren't you? Are you sure you've never worked for RBC or TD Canada Trust?
You're trying to bilk the family of a Tsunami victim! Have you no shame trying to profit off the fatal misfortune of others? Who do you think you are, Donald Rumsfeld?
Futhermore, your plan will never work. I don't have any "necessary overseas infrastructure" for you to exploit, not unless you're counting that Meccano set that I left in England when I was five.

Yours,

John

PS. I need at least a 70/30 split before it's worth my while to even consider your ridiculous plan.